spiderwomanstacy:

headcanon that night vale has its own version of “breaking bad,” only instead of being about a chemistry teacher who cooks meth it’s about a sheriff’s secret police officer who bakes illegal wheat and wheat by-products. it’s called “baking bad.”

winterfuckingsoldier:

i can’t believe we live in a world where someone on tumblr can call chris evans a dorito in the tags of some post and have it circulate so widely that robert downey jr calls him that often enough that chris evans gets the joke behind it.

jaclcfrost:

the whole concept of flirting is just lost on me most of the time really. whenever someone is like “oh they were flirting with you” i’m just like. what. whenever someone is like “were you flirting with them?” i’m just like. what. whenever someone is like “oh you totally were flirting with them!” i’m just like. what. what is flirting. what is going on. what. i have no idea what’s going on. what

imamermaidactually:

kas-a:

STRAIGHT BOYS AT THEIR FUCKING FINEST

they have gone too far

just another really long ‘au’s i really want’ post

parxdisaical:

  • you’re the drummer for my brothers band and i find you really hot AU
  • lost in a random small town and you show me around AU
  • accidentally broke into your apartment because i was drunk AU
  • i found your dog wondering the streets so i decided to come and return him AU
  • i audition to model in your music video and we end up hitting it off AU
  • we get seated next to each other on a delayed flight AU
  • co-stars whose characters date each other on the show AU
  • pretending to date bc reasons AU
  • you’re a hot surfer and i’m an awkward person working at an ice cream stand on the beach AU
  • accidentally found and read your diary AU
  • i didn’t know you were my teacher AU
  • woke up with amnesia AU
  • you’re a devil and i’m an angel AU
  • you’re a jock and i’m into theater AU
  • secretly have to date so our parents don’t find out AU
  • fame has gotten to your head so you were sent off to live with country relatives AU
  • pretending to date you because someone was obnoxiously hitting on you AU
  • i’m in a lame band and you’re the towns bad boy/girl AU
  • modern day romeo and juliet AU
  • we actually can’t stand each other but for some reason we talk everyday AU
  • ended up meeting in prison and now we’re in love AU
  • cross-country road trip gone wrong AU
  • stuck in a horrible zombie apocalypse AU
  • we fucked once and somehow keep bumping into each other AU
  • has to share a cab because there’s a thunderstorm ahead (and then gets stuck in ridiculous NY/LA traffic) AU
  • you’re a ghost and i’m a human and somehow we fall in love with each other AU
  • met on a cruise ship AU
  • get’s lost on an island together AU
  • we went on a long road trip and got into a car crash and we’re the only two who survived AU
  • gang member AU
  • i’m pregnant but it’s not yours AU
  • we go to the same coffee shop every evening to do homework but we never speak to each other until today AU
  • end up getting married in vegas although we’re total strangers AU
  • you apply to be my roommate AU
  • greasers / socs AU
  • we met in the summer and now i go to your school but you act like a typical jerk AU
  • it’s the 50’s / 60’s and we’re in love but our love is forbidden because of law AU
  • it’s the 50’s / 60’s and our love is so sweet it causes toothaches AU
  • we work at the same 50’s diner AU
  • i’m visiting your country for vacation and you show me around AU
  • modern day beauty & the beast AU
  • rich / poor AU
  • zombie falls in love with a human AU
  • hunger games AU
  • we runaway together and now we’re hiding from our parents and the police with no food, money, or clothes AU
  • alice in wonderland AU
  • detention on a saturday afternoon AU
  • nothing but a fragment of ones imagination AU (as in a coma & they imagine each other being real)
  • we rob places together as a couple and get away with it AU
  • all boys boarding school AU
  • best friends when we were young and then you moved and now we meet again at college AU
  • ouran host club AU
  • arranged marriage AU
  • we met at a really strict summer camp and ended up breaking all the rules together one by one AU
  • asylum AU
  • war AU
  • we both have cancer and go to the same support group AU
  • we decide to play a game of chicken together which leads to one thing or another AU
  • we’re both in conservative relationships so we decide to sneak off and be each others friends with benefits AU
  • we’re best friends and we take each others virginity’s AU
  • we dated when we were younger and now we’re step siblings AU
  • finds a death note and uses it to their advantage AU (based off of the anime)
  • our friends put us on a blind date AU
  • i’m only your friend because we smoke weed and get high together AU
drake & josh
season 1: drake helps josh w/ a crush
season 4: drake & josh accidentally sell an orangutan to a man who eats orangutans

veruca-assault:

ms-kawesome:

The next time a man starts yelling at you, cut him off and tell him you just can’t talk to him when he’s being so emotional.

I have done this and can confirm that is a LOT of fun to watch them implode afterward.

WiFi: connected
Me: then fucking act like it

uranuskin:

has there ever been one of those “sj is so bad!! tumblr is horrible!!” posts that aren’t just 10 screenshots in a row of fake posts made by anti-sj’s that other anti-sj’s thought were real because this is getting out of hand